Goldilocks and the Three Bears review barrage of innuendo from Clary and co | Stage
Stage This article is more than 4 years oldReviewGoldilocks and the Three Bears review – barrage of innuendo from Clary and co
This article is more than 4 years oldLondon Palladium
Julian Clary, Paul O’Grady and Matt Baker vamp it up in this big-budget extravaganza yet it’s a case of double the entendres and half the story
Now in its fourth year, the London Palladium’s big-budget panto is feeling less than ever like a family show. The problem with the circus-themed Goldilocks and the Three Bears isn’t the barrage of innuendo, which Julian Clary delivers with relish. A clever Billy Smart gag and an aside about spending hours under a big top should thrill any student of the double entendre, while the low-hanging fruit is just as juicy. Let’s face it, most of us if asked to supply jokes riffing on the name of Clary’s character – the Ringmaster – could knock one out in no time.
But younger audience members are likely to find much of the script incomprehensible. A warning on the theatre’s website that some material “may not be appropriate for everyone” hardly seems sufficient to cover references to pubic lice, S&M and Viagra. A gorilla named Boris (“Yesterday he hid in a fridge”) earned a cheer but a mention of Prince Andrew killed the party mood.
If the production isn’t as family-friendly as it should be, nor is it much like a pantomime. Clary’s reference to “the plot, such as it is” can’t conceal the disregard for story and the effect that has on the shape of the show. This isn’t panto so much as a string of turns: roller-skating, ventriloquism, tap-dancing, and a quartet of motorcycle stunt riders whose exhaust fumes hang in the auditorium throughout the second act. The central action of the fairytale – the bears’ discovery of the intruder in their home – is lost amid a pointless rendition of Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff, and it makes no sense for Goldilocks (Sophie Isaacs) to be accompanied in her porridge-scoffing and bed-hopping by her mother (resident panto dame Gary Wilmot) and a high-wire artist (One Show presenter Matt Baker).
As the villain Baron von Savage, sister of Lily, Paul O’Grady is pleasantly disdainful, if a little light on one-liners of his own. It’s clear that a lot of money has been flung at this show. Next time, a little finesse wouldn’t go amiss.
At the London Palladium, until 12 January.
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