JiveVib

When we left Below Deck Mediterranean last week, the multi-million dollar yacht was in danger of hitting a rock cliff.

“If the wind picks up, we’re in danger of hitting rocks,” Captain Sandy says.

She tells Max to push the boat with the tender, and he’s freaking.

They have to reset the anchors.

Max is literally holding the yacht in place by the power of the tender. And there are a lot of rocks behind him.

They drop two anchors the second time around, and it’s back to business as usual.

The Mr. Skin and Naked News guests are having a great time.

Bobby is feeling miserable with most of the girls on the boat not speaking to him.

“Hannah is the only friend I have on here and I f**ked up,” Bobby admits.

“I want to be friends with my Hannah again,” Bobby says.

He asks her to have a talk.

“I was in a weird spot, I was confused. I didn’t know who was lying,” Bobby explains.

Hannah says she never trashed him to Lauren. They hug and make up.

Meanwhile, Lauren is spiraling down a tunnel of despair because of the drama with Bobby.

Bugsy goes to check on Lauren, saying that she has a different style from the Chief Stew. But she quickly changes her tune.

“You need to pipe down. You’re making s**t awkward,” Bugsy says.

Lauren can’t even work properly – and Hannah has to ask Malia to step in for dinner service.

Everyone on board has a crush on Malia.

“Don’t worry guys, I’m just on anchor watch,” Malia tells Adam, as she helps with dinner service.

Adam’s struggling with the plating, and ignores her.

“I wish I could focus just on anchor watch, because it’s my first time,” Malia says. #Foreshadowing?

The guests invite Captain Sandy to dinner. The theme is sex. Not the best time for her to check out the dinner service.

“I don’t want to do this service with her at the table,” Hannah says.

“It’s going to be like talking to your grandma about d**k,” Adam agrees.

“Even though Sandy and I got off to kind of a rough start in the beginning, our relationship is getting to a good place. And I want to keep it there, and keep her on the bridge,” Hannah says.

Dinner goes perfectly, but then there’s a delay with dessert.

It’s obvious Chef Adam has never dealt with fondant in the Caribbean or he never would have waiting to the last second to try to finish making those desserts. #Rookie

“I’m actually starting to sweat, for the first time in this galley,” Adam says.

“I’ve never handled so many titties at once,” Adam says.

The crew dresses up in naked t-shirts for dessert. Lauren opts out, of course.

The captain wisely makes her excuses and leaves the dinner table.

The guests get a little crude with their booby cakes, but they’re much better behaved than many other guests so I’m not judging.

The next morning, breakfast is ready as they weigh anchor.

But the anchor is in a knot and won’t retract.

They have to unf**k it before they can pull it up.

It’s making terrible noises, and they’re going to depart several hours late.

“They’re all manually trying to untangle the chains,” one guest reports to the others.

Bobby and the captain starts bumping heads.

“I need assistance, not resistance,” the captain says.

“She wants to call me scared?” Bobby’s pissed Captain Sandy told him that he could leave it he was afraid of the way she was doing things.

They have to call a taxi service for the guests.

“There’s a lot at stake here with our tip,” Adam says, as he sends up platter after platter of yummies to the waiting guests.

Seven hours after they were supposed to depart, the taxi finally picks up the guests and takes them ashore.

But the guests aren’t upset about it.

As soon as they’re gone, it’s back to trying to untangle their anchor chain.

“It’s a full-on rat’s nest of chain on the anchor,” Bobby says.

It’s illegal to pull into the harbor without anchors, so the captain is determined they’re going to untangle them, or they’ll lose the season.

We’ll have to see what happens next week – I can only assume they get unstuck or there wouldn’t be a whole season of Below Deck Med on the TV guide.

Things We’re Left Wondering

What was their tip? They were too busy trying to unscrew the anchor to have the meeting and count it. I’m curious.

What’s Lauren’s deal? The drama is over and it’s like she’s trying to create more for herself.

Does Captain Sandy really know what she’s going? Captain Lee hasn’t had this many problems in all of his season on the original Below Deck.

Below Deck Mediterranean airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

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